I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
