Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
