I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
