i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
