I wish i was in the wii world.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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