FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
