Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
