There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
