im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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