I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
