hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
