her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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