i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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