in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
