About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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