Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
