My friends, they love my intelligence
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
