i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
