erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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