is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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