doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
