Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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