At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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