But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Text me some of your sweat
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
