Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
