What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
