Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
