come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Oh god it's open bar.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
