she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
