Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
