so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
