evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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