Me. At least after what I've been through.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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