omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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