I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
a search helicopter?!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
