So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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