this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
