her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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