There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
