Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
