Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
