Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
