the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
