omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
