I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
