I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
