i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
