carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
