More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
