Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We had sex on a dog bed..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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