You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
